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Resources » Articles/Knowledge Sharing » How things work »
Manage your Emotions
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‘I used to enjoy working here…. but yesterday’s remarks from the manager have just killed my drive and enthusiasm. I hate him, and this job… I am just wondering should I go up to him and tell him just what I think of him… or should I just stay quiet…’
“I am so in love with Aniket, I feel like running away and getting married… I just don’t care what my parents or anyone else would say.”
Do you ever wonder why people say, “Do not make important decisions when you are angry or in love”. What does the experience of strong emotions have to do with our discerning power or ability to make decisions.
Emotion management is very important in our life. If I give my example, me and my wife always drain into emotional situations and become so angry and finally express our anger into a big quarrel. To add to this when we both gets cool down then we realize there was no point in making this argument. This has become a regular habit now. Whenever we are overwhelmed by an emotion we lose all reason, we are sensitive and vulnerable, almost as if we were lost in a dark cloud. This is because when we are overwhelmed by hatred, anger, anxiety, or even positive emotions such as love and extreme excitement there is a tendency to express the emotions without stopping to think of the consequences. Later, when these volatile emotions have died down we may regret our actions or decisions made.
When we experience strong emotions we have the choice to let them spill out, not express them and keep them inside or to express them in healthy ways. Both the situations have pros and cons. lets discuss this.
I am experiencing a Strong Emotional Situation; Should I keep it in?
Many people feel that bottling up their emotions, is the healthiest way to avoid the after effects of these emotions. It is important to realize that emotions are real and that energy needs some outlet. If you hold them in they will find one way or another to get out. Keeping it inside can cause many or all of these symptoms: Depression, anti-social behavior, short-temper, lack of concentration, stomach ulcers, heart problems, breathing problems, loss of energy, and a host of other physical and emotional health problems.
…Or I should let my emotions out?
The opposite of this is of course letting your emotions spill out as and when you experience them. This could once again lead to disastrous consequences since you are not guided by rational thought. All kinds of difficult social and interpersonal relationship problems could result from this.
When we choose any one of the way wither to keep the emotions in or let it out we experience many different kinds of results. We have all heard of people who leave home to escape from problems, resign from jobs turn irritable, depressed, have temper outbursts, withdraw from the world psychologically with or without the help of drugs and alcohol, and others attempt to completely withdraw by taking their own lives
Managing Your Emotions
The way around this is to express your feelings with someone you trust, who won't be judgmental and who deeply cares for you like a close friend or a family member. This is the great middle path which would help you express your emotions while avoiding the possible disastrous consequences. Once you have calmed down you would be in able to think rationally about the situation that caused the emotion and would be in a better position to think of how you want to respond. Talking or writing to a counselor who is neutral and objective is another option.
You can't even begin to manage your emotions until you become aware and understand that you can influence them. Just as you are aware of being hungry or thirsty, you must become aware of what you are thinking and feeling.
Ask yourself which of the following categories you fall into:-
Self Aware: These people are aware of their moods as they are happening. They usually tend to be in good psychological health and optimistic. They do not ruminate or obsess about negative moods and can come out of them quickly.
Engulfed: These people often feel swamped by emotions which seem to be in charge. They are not very aware of their feelings and so get lost in them. They do little to change their mood and feel as though they have no control of their emotional life.
Accepting: These people are aware of their moods but tend to accept them; they do nothing to change their emotional distress because they believe that there is nothing they can do.
If you do find yourself in the second or the third category, don’t worry. It is possible to deal and work out your emotions without letting yourself be overwhelmed by it.
What helps- the four R’s
Recognize the feelings you are experiencing and understand that it is normal, because there is no right or wrong way to feel.
Remember that you have dealt with all kinds of intense emotions in the past, and you can figure out how to deal with the emotions you are experiencing now.
Recall what you did that was healthy or unhealthy to get through the previous experience, and
Repeat those actions in the present that were effective in helping you cope with the difficult emotions in the past.
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Responses
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| Author: Sonia Sharma 05 Nov 2009 | Member Level: Bronze Points : 1 | THANKS for sharing this wonderful article with us
Really it had given help and also knowledge about human emotions
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